After almost three days, i finally narrowed down an intermittent problem with a certain library. Turns out, it's contained within a rules engine we borrowed from another group.
A rules engine that isn't thread-safe.
It's 2007. We're using .NET. There's precious little need to make random variables static (er, rather, "Shared" - this is VB.NET). And it's trivially easy to add a bit of locking to avoid the problem, if you really must share the current rule with every other instance.
Worse yet, this isn't even the problem i was trying to track down.
So now, i'm tired, depressed, and no where near done. I know in my head that this isn't the fault of VB, but my heart still lays blame.
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awww, i hear you Shog9. i understand your pain.